Fuck I’m mad how do I get less mad?
I’m 25. I have been fat for 20 years.
How many more till I can brush it off when assholes mock or abuse me for having the audacity to take my body into public?
Today it was a thin couple stretching in the park, and laughing at my my husband and I ‘come on big girl’. Tomorrow it’ll be some kid in a car when I cross the road to work ‘fat slut’ . Next week a well put together woman in a skirt suit will order ‘whatever stops me looking like her’ if I dare to go out to eat - I won’t.
I’ve heard it all by now. These people are actual human trash. I get more mad that they are allowed to exist than I get hurt.
Feeling low and sore today, I just wanted to smash some weights but I know if I gotta take care of my needy spine.
A relaxing mix of Pilates, yoga and stabilising exceecises instead.
Once my core is back where it should be I’ll smash those squats again, I know it.
But beginning to wonder if it’s time for another scan, it’s been ten years and the pain and numbness has really amped up in the last few. The docs are all unwilling because ‘child bearing years’ - apparently my ability to have babies is more important than my ability for daily function. Honestly, how do they think I’ll care for a child if I can’t move. /end unexpected rant.
- Multigrain wrap
- Smoked ham
- Egg/Egg white
~ 300cal of deliciousness
I get so frickin happy when people like my recipes. Like, nothing compares to that.
Today’s a pretty big day, got some important work stuff on, have an interview for a permanent role and I got to bed late last night because of socialising for the first time in forever.
So naturally, I woke up at 4:30.
Gonna be beat by home time.